I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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