that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
