the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Bring me that man meat
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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