If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
