Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
