There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
