jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
