I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
