Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
