I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
