Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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