Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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