Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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