highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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