i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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