No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
