Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
