Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
