Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
