Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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