well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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