Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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