You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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