So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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