is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
