Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish my penis had an off switch
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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