she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
COCAINE IS GR8
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
