I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
