First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
