Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hippo gnu deer
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
