If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
