he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize