I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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