ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize