Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
