I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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