I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
