Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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