and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My vagina is officially offended.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
