made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i out mim tonsoeep
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