What a fucking waste of an outfit
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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