he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
