there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
