I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize