omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
