Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
