I'm drive I can fine osifer
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
handjob tips. give me some.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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