The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
