Where is the hickey?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
