I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
