Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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