Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
