Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
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