Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
