ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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