It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
