I hate all girls vehemently.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
