i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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