I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
