three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
