I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize