just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
