I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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