I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
