Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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